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Groundbreaking Investigative Journalism from LuluAndLolly.com
February 7, 2010 --- U.S.A. -- Wondering how the Annual Puppy Bowl, featured nationally on Animal Planet, got started?
Sports fans, wonder no more.
The raucous event — which features bunny cheerleaders, hamsters operating a balloon-cam, and adorable canines currently willing to take applications for adoption, was developed seven years ago by canines who were “sick of getting psyched ...
out by the human ‘Super Bowl.’”
Charles, a Cavalier King Spaniel featured in Puppy Bowl V, explained further.
“All these doggies would hear ‘Super Bowl! Super Bowl! Party! Party! They’d think super bowls! Extra food! That’s a party for sure!”
“But there were no super bowls of food. There were no parties. There were just people sitting in front of the TV, screaming and eating pretzels. As if they didn’t do enough of that already!”
A group of enterprising pups from managed to “get things on the right track.”
“They watched TV to see what all the yelling was about,” Charles said. “And what the dogssaw blew their minds. A human would throw the ball and another one would catch it. Now everybody knows that after the human throws the ball and you catch it, you’re supposed to bring it back. That’s the whole point of Fetch! That’s the whole reason you throw a ball! But these idiots would run the other way. Every time!”
“Sometimes they didn’t even catch the ball to begin with, added Bandit, a Border Collie mix with particularly darling eyes, featured in the Puppy Bowl VI lineup. “How pitiful is that?”
“Mind-numbing craziness,” commented Chihuahua -Pug mix Jake, this year’s Most Valuable Puppy.
“I learned to fetch in about thirty seconds!” Charles barked. “It’s not that hard!”
When it was pointed out that “Puppy Bowl” involves Puppies running all over the field, none of them following proper fetch protocol themselves, Charles, Jake, and Bandit looked as though someone had asked them the point of chasing squirrels.
Then Bandit, speaking slowly as if to a small child with hearing problems, said, “Yeah um they’re puppies. They don’t even know how to control their own poop yet.”
“But it’s grown-up humans screwing up on TV!” Charles cried. “They should know better!”
To view highlights from this year’s Puppy Bowl, click here!
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